The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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