Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize