The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
