you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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