my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Randomize
