I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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