I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Dick very happy bro
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
