your thong is hanging out like whoa
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
