i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
