Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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