I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
