ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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