Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
A+ Viking dick
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
