One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
