is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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