why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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