you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
