i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
