so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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