So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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