I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
