whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
