So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
