as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
