So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
