my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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