haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize