I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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