This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
