I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
