1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize