You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
