I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
