Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
