..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
try to milk me bitch
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