It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you would pick up someone in the library
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
