I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
tell me about the eggs
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
