Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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