I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
