some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
