Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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