dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
