Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
