a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
