sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I want to make a zoo with you.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
