Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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