You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
