Do vagina's smell?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
