I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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