I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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