I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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