All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
