I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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