Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
