Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
