YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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