can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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